I’m all about cheesy rom-coms – cheesy to the point it makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Add some Christmas into this equation and I’m 100% sold on a night in with blankets, snacks and a hot chocolate.
Mike, on the other hand, hates cheesy films and Christmas in November (he loves Christmas once it’s “Christmas appropriate time” aka December). So I thought it would be hilarious to make him watch a selection of Netflix’s cheesiest offerings before December 1st.
When I first suggested the idea, he was on board for the purpose of me getting a blog post out of it, so much so he devised his own Christmassy out-of-five rating scale – Santa cookies (5 being the highest, 1 being the lowest). His enthusiasm definitely faltered after watching the first film but I managed to get him to sit through five. This is what we both thought of said films… (Quotes in italics are my favourite thing Mike said whilst we were watching each film).
The Holiday Calendar
“They could have screamed the ending at the viewer and it wouldn’t be anymore subtle.”
I loved this film despite the incredibly bad, almost awkward acting. It follows a girl who gets given a special advent calendar from her grandpa (shout out to Bobby Fish from Luke Cage). Turns out this calendar is magical and predicts the future to help her find love. She meets a hot doctor who coincides with all the things the calendar predicts and they end up dating.
I’m pretty naive when it comes to films, I never predict what’s going to happen and I’m always shocked when what could be argued is obvious happens. So for me, this film is really clever at hiding the truth that’s right in front of yours, and the main character’s, face. Mike didn’t appreciate this as much as I did, he claims the ending was obvious, which I agree it was, but he was still a little bit surprised the clues being there all along, though he won’t admit it.
He also had a really big gripe with the main characters hairstyle: “I refuse to believe this dude who could afford to travel the world and buy stupid expensive gifts didn’t at some point get a goddamn haircut.”
Mike gave this film 2 and a half Santa cookies.
The Princess Switch
“If this film had a face I’d bitch slap it”
To sum this one up, as Mike said, “they tried.”
I was so excited to watch this when I saw the trailer. It’s basically like Christmas threw up on The Parent Trap, with the addition of a little royalty. And Mike was also excited because he occasionally works with the guy who plays King George, which was probably why he agreed to watch it.
Mike and I came to a few disagreements on this one. He hated the ‘random man’ who kept showing up whereas I thought he was cute and helped keep the plot moving along – he was a typical Christmas miracle, Santa-like character for these kinds of films. Though I suppose after listening to Mike’s points, I understood why he thought it was a little bit cringe as it’s never truly explained who he is or why he’s there, he just is.
I think Mike’s biggest gripe with this film was the lack of conflict where there should have been conflict, which I do understand but I was also so happy with the ending that I didn’t mind the lack of conflict as much.
One thing I could not get past was Vanessa Hudgen’s English accent as she played Lady Margaret – it was awful.
Mike gave this film a total of 1 Santa cookie.
Christmas Wedding Planner
“I’ve had shits with a better plot behind them than this film”
Now even I struggled with this one. If you haven’t watched it already then I wouldn’t recommend wasting your time on it. We had to watch this in two parts because it was so bad we had to take a time out. The plot was so forced and made no sense that it was almost painful to watch. It also had nearly nothing to do with Christmas other than a few decorations in the background and some occasional mentions of it.
The two main characters fall in love after three days and you only experience this three days in a montage scene of them sitting in a truck – their relationship is NOT believable at all and I’m still dumbfounded by the absolutely ridiculous ending. The ending actually reduced Mike to hiding under the covers and screaming…
The acting was awful and this isn’t helped by the way the character’s were written in this film either. They’re so weird and bizarre; and as Mike put it: “no one in real life behaves like these characters.”
There are some great stylistic inconsistencies with this film that really bugged us both – How hard is it to pick one style of displaying text messages throughout the film?! Mike said it looked like a student film with crappy filming and editing but I thought that was an insult to student film makers.
Mike gave this film a total of 0 Santa cookies. The ingredients caught fire before they even made it to cookies.
A Christmas Prince
“Even Netflix is struggling to keep up the [picture] quality”
This is possibly my all-time favourite cheesy Christmas film. I think it’s incredible. The acting is on point, the plot line is believable, the prince is charming. I love it. It’s kind of like The Prince and Me (I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched this film!) but at Christmas time.
Mike didn’t think this one was half bad either, he was significantly less vocal during the run-time of this film. Though of what he did have to say a good 60% of it was positive.
Despite the predictable ending (don’t know if he’s caught on that this is one of the reasons to love these films) he was very glad there was actual conflict where there needed to be conflict and there was enough time for the audience to get invested in the main characters and their relationships.
I told him there was a sequel for this film and he has mentioned us watching it on more than one occasion so I think this film might have converted him a little. Though if the sequel to this is anything like the sequel to The Prince and Me then we might send him back to hating cheesy Christmas films…
Mike gave this film a total of 2 Santa cookies.
A Wish For Christmas
“Let’s watch this one because it’s 20 minutes shorter … [end of the movie] Ah, it really needed those extra 20 minutes.”
I’d watched this film last year and couldn’t remember what it was called but I remember describing the plot to Mike a few weeks before we watched it and wishing I could remember which one it was. So safe to say I was incredibly happy when I figured out it was the one I was after.
This was the last one we watched and I think Mike finally came around to appreciating the beauty of the cheesy Christmas film, going as far as to say “it genuinely felt like they tried to make a film so I respect that.”
The last 20-30 minutes suffers from a rushed edit and it’s a shame because it felt like the whole reason the main guy isn’t fond of Christmas stems from his relationship with his dad and they show no evidence of them resolving their issues, and they had slightly irrelevant scenes earlier in the film that they could have switch out for this: “Fuck those carol singers, they weren’t even good. WHERE WAS MY FATHER SON BONDING SCENE?!” (Mike definitely got invested in this film…)
Mike gave this film a total of 2 and a half Santa cookies. It would’ve been 3 if they hadn’t rushed the ending.
Have you watched any of these films? Do you want to after reading this?